About

Fitting in used to come naturally to me. I knew what to wear, when to wear it, how to mirror the people and the environment I was in. I was your classic, masking, neurodivergent, queer chameleon. Yes, I blew up on occasion, for reasons I couldn’t really ever explain, but surely that was just part of life?

At some point in my late 20s, the blow-ups became less easy to gloss over and the gears really started to come off. I don’t drive, so maybe that’s why it took me longer to recognise the signs, but everything started to grind to a halt. My body simply stopped cooperating.

I processed that quickly and easily and it all improved overnight – ha! If you believe that, you might need this blog more than I do. In reality, it has taken 15 years of confusion, curiosity, destruction, and deep, messy healing work, to get to where I am now.

That sounds like an end result but it’s truly not. I can’t tell you how much I always yearned to get through my healing so that I’d eventually be ‘done’.* Imagine my surprise when the greatest joy of my life has been to arrive, finally, at a beginning. The possibility of a new day, a new project, a new way of being more fully myself in the world.

Walk with me as I explore what it has taken to turn away from the instinct to be a fitter-inner, and unexpectedly find within an unshakeable determination to heal and make my inner world the place of safety and strength it is today. Let’s navigate the joys and jeeze louises of life, love, and loss together, as we cultivate a steady, celebratory connection with that most precious part of ourself, our inner child.

As I tell my little me all the time: you’ve got this – and I’ve got you.

Here’s to Fitter Inners everywhere – may we have them and not be them.

Zoë x

*okay, let’s face it, this is a lie. I’m literally starting a blog, you can rightly expect that I’m planning to tell you in minute detail exactly about that process. I can only apologise. It won’t…no, yeah, it probably will happen again.